Charley Walters is Worthless...

Some of you may already know this, but Charley Walters is a writter for the St. Paul Pioneer Press. He is a BAD writter for the Pioneeer Press. His columns often showcase tremendous bits of information like these nuggets from the Tuesday and Wednesday papers...

For several reasons, the Twins aren't interested in free agent Manny Ramirez, who is seeking a $25 million-a-season multiyear contract. Can you imagine, though, Denard Span and Alexi Casilla at the top of the Twins' lineup followed by Joe Mauer, Ramirez and Justin Morneau?

I don’t even know where to start with this…

I’d also like the Twinks to sign Babe Ruth to DH and Mike Schmidt to play third base. Can you imagine a lineup with Span, Casilla, Ramirez, Morneau, Mauer, Schmidt, Ruth, Cudduyer, and Nick Punto? In fact, while we are at it, we should probably sign A-rod to play short and I am sure we could find a spot for Shoeless Joe Jackson to play right. So now the Twins lineup looks like this: Casilla, Ramirez, Morneau, Mauer, Schmidt, Ruth, Shoeless Joe, and A-rod. Sounds pretty solid to me…

Never mind that Ramirez will make about $30 Million this year (and for the next two years), which is only about 25 million less than the whole Twins roster makes. Can you imagine the same team that signed Mike Lamb to a 2-year deal and handed him a starting job signing one of the premier hitters of our generation? We don't SIGN players like him we LOSE players like him. Maybe once Manny sees the dream lineup Charley has put together, he'll come and play for nothing…

And I’m sure Man-Ram would love to spend any amount of time in Minnesota…LA? Bunch of homos, NY? I'd have to share Madonna with A-rod. SF? Too much water. MN? 120 degrees in the summer, -20 in the winter? SIGN ME UP!

Steelers punter Mitch Berger, who played for the Vikings for six seasons and has been with 12 teams in 15 years, punted for the Cardinals last season.

I looked it up, really, it took .2 seconds for Google to kick back the results. Berger has also been a member of the Bears, Vikings, Rams, Saints, Cardinals, Steelers, and Eagles.
I count 7 teams in total (at least he got the Vikings for six part right). My point is; so fucking what! Not only is this a meaningless piece of information (This just in! Dave likes Cookies and Supermodels! ), it is also incorrect and could have been prevented with .2 seconds of research. It took up three perfectly good inches of newsprint that could have been used to better ourselves, or perhaps even entertain a little.

The Gophers are considering holding their spring football game April 25, perhaps at the University of St. Thomas if logistics allow.

Another Print-worthy nugget…I am thinking about getting Chinese Take-out tonight, February 5th.