Russell Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall

Now, I don’t really like Russell Brand. In Fact, I kinda hate him. He’s obnoxious, he dresses stupid, above all else, for a comedian he’s not really funny. But the more I watch Forgetting Sarah Marshall on permanent replay this month on HBO, the more I laugh out loud at Brand’s Aldous Snow. Some of my favorite lines…

Matthew (Jonah Hill): I have a question for you real quick. What did you think of my demo? Did you get it?
Aldous Snow: I was gonna listen to that, but then, um, I just carried on living my life.

[after spilling cranberry juice on his shirt Sarah just bought him, which he hates] “Oh God, please take my eyes, but not the shirt!”

“I mean, I've heard that women do fake orgasms, but I've never seen it... It really, deeply upset me“.

Sarah Marshall: I hate your music.
Aldous Snow: Yeah well, I fucked the housekeeper the other day.

[To Peter, Sarah’s ex-boyrfriend] “How you served five years under her, I don't know. You deserve a medal, or a holiday or at least a cuddle from somebody.It’s like being on holiday with, well I shouldn’t say Hitler, oh gurbles, it was like a little holiday with Hitler.

[holding a single sandal] I've lost a shoe... have you seen it anywhere? Excuse me, missus, I've lost a shoe... like this one. It's like this one's fellow... it's sort of the exact opposite in fact of that - not an evil version but just, you know, a shoe like this... but for the other foot.

And I Guess, since I’m doing this. I have some other lines from the movie I love…
　
Kemo: Are those sad tissues or happy tissues?

Surfing Instructor: If you get bitten by a shark, you're not just gonna give up surfing, are you?
Peter Bretter: Yeah, probably.

Dwayne the Bartender: He turned down a blow job from his ex-girlfriend... mid-blowjob. You know how hard that is for a man? It's called blue balls. He's like Gandhi! But better - he likes puppets!

Matthew[on the phone at the restaurant] Well I would love to sell you some weed, Jeremy, but I'm at my fucking job right now. Obviously, because you called me at work, you know that I'm at my place of work, so I can't just leave here and sell you some weed. I can sell you some weed when I'm done.

Kemo: [after Peter kills the luau pig] You can stop crying now. He's dead already.
Peter Bretter: I'm not crying. You should stop crying.
Kemo: I don't cry. I'm not a baby.
Peter Bretter: Really? Because you look like a gigantic baby. I'm sorry, I didn't mean that at all.

Brian: What's up with that hat... what are you in the Buena Vista Social Club?
Peter Bretter: This is a nice hat.
Brian: What member of the brat pack are you? You look like one of those guys suspected of killing JFK.
　
　
And possibly the best quote from the whole movie…

Darald: [To his wife]You have Christ between your thighs... only with a shorter beard.