Dear Abby is Kinda Dear Retarded

I'm going to try a little experiment. I was reading Dear Abby's column in the paper today, and the question she was attempting to answer really made me stop and think. Well not so much think as laugh out loud. So, I'm going to attempt to answer her reader's question in my own words. Maybe I'll call it Dayve's Corner...

First, the question...

DEAR ABBY: Our friends "Andy" and "Corinne" live out of state in Michigan. We visit them about twice a year. Our visits are planned weeks in advance. The last three times, on Saturday night they hosted a "swingers party."
The first time it happened we thought it was a joke, until the guests -- after "tossing back a few" -- started picking partners. We saw them begin to caress one another, then start going into other rooms and outside. One of the attendees came on to my wife. We informed him we're not swingers. His response? He told us it was OK to "watch" the first time or two.
Abby, we're not prudes, but we feel uncomfortable visiting these friends. We now return to our bedroom when the swingers arrive. In contrast, when Andy and Corinne come to visit us in Tennessee, we have dinner, play cards and go to church on Sunday.
We have spoken to them about this. They tell us they "keep their relationship fresh" this way. We don't want to lose them as friends, but we don't know what to do. Can you help? -- SATISFIED WITH EACH OTHER

Here's Abby's response...

DEAR SATISFIED: I'll try. Because you like Andy and Corinne every other day of the week when you visit them, schedule an outside activity -- dinner and a movie, a play -- anything that will get you out of their den of iniquity on Saturday night. Either that, or leave for home on Friday.

My Turn...

Dear Satisfied. Are you fucking stupid? Quit going over there unless, you want to watch your wife being cummed on by a team full of English Rugby players while your best friend "Andy" beats off in a corner. I mean, no one is forcing you to go to their house. So what you were friends 10 years ago, people change, they grow up, they get into 6-ways with donkeys. People are friends because they have common interests. If you don't happen to share the interest of "letting strangers bang your wife", then I suggest you move on with your life.

How'd I do?