About 3 years ago I used to drive a Ford Thunderbird. The car has a kind of cult following in gear-head circles, so I was pretty accustomed to getting remarks about how nice it was, or asking me what kind of engine it had, the horsepower, etc. Of course my reply to all this was, "my car is shiny". What the fuck else was I supposed to say? "It's got a 4.3 liter v-8 with electro-gas struts and 200 foot pounds of torque"? I don't even know what I just said, let alone what it means.
When I was working in restaurants I would get home pretty late. Arby's was the only place open for food. I used to go there a couple times a week. There was one worker, I don't know his name, but this fuckin guy would talk my ear off about Thunderbirds for a half hour every time I drove up. I don't know if he noticed I had no clue what he was talking about. I was being polite, gently nodding my head, so maybe it was my fault. After about 3 months of this, I finally gave up. I started driving by real slow, just to see if the guy was there. If he was, I bailed. Sometimes all I wanted in the whole world was a regular-sized roast beef and I couldn't have it because of that douchebag. After a couple months, the guys car was never around (I knew what his car looked like because he told me every time I saw him. "It's that T-bird in the last spot. You should totally go check it out. I just got it painted." "Um, I'm good. Can I just have my horsey sauce and get the fuck out of here? It's 2 a.m.").
I was so happy.
Fast forward three years, yup, I said three years. I go to the drivethrough window the other day and who do you suppose is staring right back at me...
"Hey, I remember you. Didn't you used to drive a red Thunderbird? (His memory is actually quit impressive, which makes me wonder why he is back at Arby's. My guess is he was in some kind of road-racing indident, crashed, and has spent the last three years rehabbing. Dreaming about the day he can again be making delicious, piping hot roast beef).
"yeah, but it's long gone by now"
"Oh really? whatcha drivin now?" He looks out the little pick up window and checks out the new ride.
"It's a Neon"
"Oh. I guess that's cool. Here's your sandwich."
I think my arch nemesis, from his drivethrough window, just called me a loser.
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