Reduce, Reuse,...

It's the little things people, that will get our world through this...

In my effort to be a better "planetary citizen" I decided to find little ways to help save the planet.

For instance, the other night I was eating soup and when I finished I decided to pee. In a genius move I used the napkin from dinner to dap away the excess pee. It's silly using a paper towel AND a piece of toilet paper.

Some suggestions I have for you:

If you get no ear wax one day, try saving the cotton swab for the next day. In fact, I say, until there's mold growing on that bitch, use away...

T-shirts make great headbands when they're too small to wear

Washing a dish for each use is overrated. If I eat pasta out of a dish I say it's okay to eat your after dinner ice cream from the same dish. It was YOUR dinner and it's just going to mix in your belly anyway. Plus, you could get a bonus bit of pasta sauce on your ice cream. It's like italian fusion...

If your going to have a big BBQ, talk to your local animal shelter to see if they have leftover meat. No sense in shopping when there's perfectly good dog and ferret going to waste.

Use leftover cigarette filters to replace your home air filter. You know how many butts are thrown away each year? Tons.

Use your small children to plow your lawn into a garden. Veggies are really healthy, and the home gardening trend has never been more popular. Plus, this country was built on slave labor, so you can teach them about capitalism and give em a leg up on kindergarten. Plus, they'll probably be really good at dodgeball from working outside all summer. Then when they become professional athletes, they can pay you back for all the shit you had to buy them when they were kids.

These are just some suggestions, be creative. And remember, it's all for the earth so there are really no bad ideas.