iPad
iPod
Air conditioning
"Art of Glow" app for the iPad
Madden franchising
Comfy robes
Target Field
Twin’s Saturday uniforms
D.C. shoes hoodies
Everwood season 4
DVR
The color blue
Clicky-top pens
Dugouts
Marlboro Lights
Hulu.com
Ruffley skirts
Thongs
Whale tails
MLB Network
Coke Zero
Limited edition Pirates of the Caribbean Berry Bounty chap stick
Urban outfitters plain t-shirts
Lacoste cologne
Spinach and Artichoke dip (warm not hot, otherwise it’d burn my weiner)
Frozen double stuffed Oreos
Long lunch breaks
Flonase nasal spray (anyone who has allergies will thank me for this one...)
1st smoke of the day
Fantasy football and baseball
Norton literature anthologies
Insulin (keeps me alive!!!)
Ibuprophen
Stocking caps
Pigtails
Girls with pigtails and stocking caps (throw in a pair of baggy cords and a spaghetti strap tank top and I will cum in her belly button…)
What would you have sex with?
Monday, September 20, 2010
Monday, September 13, 2010
No Shit
I just saw a commercial on tv for Cialis, which is a drug for erectile disfunction. The guy doing the VoiceOver says "if you experience a loss in vision or an erection lasting more than four hours, stop takin Cialis and call your doctor.
That's kind of the obvious statement of all obvious statements.
I want to know who the person is that says "I've had this boner for five hours and I can't really see anymore, but I think I'll try another Cialis and see if that helps."
That's kind of the obvious statement of all obvious statements.
I want to know who the person is that says "I've had this boner for five hours and I can't really see anymore, but I think I'll try another Cialis and see if that helps."
Reduce, Reuse,...
It's the little things people, that will get our world through this...
In my effort to be a better "planetary citizen" I decided to find little ways to help save the planet.
For instance, the other night I was eating soup and when I finished I decided to pee. In a genius move I used the napkin from dinner to dap away the excess pee. It's silly using a paper towel AND a piece of toilet paper.
Some suggestions I have for you:
If you get no ear wax one day, try saving the cotton swab for the next day. In fact, I say, until there's mold growing on that bitch, use away...
T-shirts make great headbands when they're too small to wear
Washing a dish for each use is overrated. If I eat pasta out of a dish I say it's okay to eat your after dinner ice cream from the same dish. It was YOUR dinner and it's just going to mix in your belly anyway. Plus, you could get a bonus bit of pasta sauce on your ice cream. It's like italian fusion...
If your going to have a big BBQ, talk to your local animal shelter to see if they have leftover meat. No sense in shopping when there's perfectly good dog and ferret going to waste.
Use leftover cigarette filters to replace your home air filter. You know how many butts are thrown away each year? Tons.
Use your small children to plow your lawn into a garden. Veggies are really healthy, and the home gardening trend has never been more popular. Plus, this country was built on slave labor, so you can teach them about capitalism and give em a leg up on kindergarten. Plus, they'll probably be really good at dodgeball from working outside all summer. Then when they become professional athletes, they can pay you back for all the shit you had to buy them when they were kids.
These are just some suggestions, be creative. And remember, it's all for the earth so there are really no bad ideas.
In my effort to be a better "planetary citizen" I decided to find little ways to help save the planet.
For instance, the other night I was eating soup and when I finished I decided to pee. In a genius move I used the napkin from dinner to dap away the excess pee. It's silly using a paper towel AND a piece of toilet paper.
Some suggestions I have for you:
If you get no ear wax one day, try saving the cotton swab for the next day. In fact, I say, until there's mold growing on that bitch, use away...
T-shirts make great headbands when they're too small to wear
Washing a dish for each use is overrated. If I eat pasta out of a dish I say it's okay to eat your after dinner ice cream from the same dish. It was YOUR dinner and it's just going to mix in your belly anyway. Plus, you could get a bonus bit of pasta sauce on your ice cream. It's like italian fusion...
If your going to have a big BBQ, talk to your local animal shelter to see if they have leftover meat. No sense in shopping when there's perfectly good dog and ferret going to waste.
Use leftover cigarette filters to replace your home air filter. You know how many butts are thrown away each year? Tons.
Use your small children to plow your lawn into a garden. Veggies are really healthy, and the home gardening trend has never been more popular. Plus, this country was built on slave labor, so you can teach them about capitalism and give em a leg up on kindergarten. Plus, they'll probably be really good at dodgeball from working outside all summer. Then when they become professional athletes, they can pay you back for all the shit you had to buy them when they were kids.
These are just some suggestions, be creative. And remember, it's all for the earth so there are really no bad ideas.
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