Grindin'

I grind my teeth at night. I don’t know I do it, but the dentist seems to think I do. He made me get a mouthpiece (for like $600.00!), made of plastic, that stops my teeth from slowly wearing away to Chiclets. The fun part about the whole mouth guard thing is that now I grind my tongue against the mouthpiece and my tongue is getting pretty beat up. No one is going to want to get head from me with a beat up tongue. This has got to stop.

My whole thing is, why can’t I just stop caring about my teeth all together, have them all pulled, and get dentures. I wouldn’t have to worry about cavities anymore, and brushing will be a thing of the past since I can just take my clean teeth out of a jar on my bedside table. I’m thinking this is a much better way to go. I could even take my teeth out and give some crazy gum-sucky-head move to some lucky hot girl. Something really cool that nobody’s ever heard of (partly because normal toothless people are like 95 years old and don’t think about going down anymore). They could even name the move after me. I prefer “Dayvalingus”, but that’s just me…