What Chantix May Come

I've been trying to quit smoking. I know, fucking gross. I hate the thought of not smoking. And since I love smoking so much, I decided I needed a pill to help me out So my doc starts me on Chantix. It's supposed to block the nicotine receptors in my brain while I smoke, essentially cutting my body off cold turkey, while my brain sees me and is getting tricked. You may have seen it on TV. There's a commercial from a lawfirm looking for Chantix users who've had suicidal thoughts, and thoughts of killing other people. But I ignore the warnings, and just let my friend Jay know that if I try to murder him or anyone else, I didn't really mean it. It was the drugs. He shouldn't take it personally.

One of the other side affects is incredibly lucid dreams. It gives some people horrible nightmares, and some people sexy happy dreams. For me, it didn't really do either. Instead, it gives me super realistic, mundane dreams. Fuck, I shouldn't even call them dreams. More like, scenes from a completely average play.

To illustrate my point:
The other night I dreamt that a nice girl from work, Lai, was knitting me a pair of basketball shorts. When she finished, she wanted $40 for them. I thought it was a little expensive, but I agreed.

That's it. That's the dream.

And to make matters worse, since it was a super realistic dream, I spent 10 minutes after I woke up in the morning thinking about how spending $40 on knitted basketball shorts was a not very smart, and how I don't even really wear shorts in the first place.

Another time I dreamt my friend called and invited me to a party. I couldn't go because it was a Wednesday and I had to work the next day, so I politely declined.

Again, that's it. Dream over. I need to look at internet porn or something tonight before I go to bed, spice this shit up a bit.