Currently, I am at war with my father. For the past few weeks we have been passively agressively fighting over parking spaces at home. Yes I live with my parents, get over it.
At the end of the day when My Mother, Father, and I all get home from work there is a parking dance that we normally do. My Dad comes home first, usually around 4 p.m. His parking space is in the garage on the right side, to which he normally pulls in to. I come home next at about 4:30, I usually take the lower right hand corner of the driveway, so my mom who comes home a little after me can park in her space on the left side of the garage. This way, my Dad can back out of the garage and get around me. Not a bad arrangement, but Dad hates it. My brother did the same thing in high school and my dad backed into his car one day. Ever since then he's always fearful that he'll do it again. I don't understand what's so difficult about turning your head to look behind you when you back out. I mean, he is like 60 years old now and maybe he just spaces things now, like he may forget I'm even behind him. But I don't think my Father's dementia should mean I have to park in the street.
So, in order to prevent me from taking the back right space for the last two weeks, he has parked in my space, knowing that I won't park in the garage because then I'll have to move my car later at night (God forbid my parents should have their cars sit in the driveway for one fucking hour). Which is a pretty good move, and for a couple days I didn't know how to handle it, and just parked in the street until later on in the evening. But I can't stand the idea of my Dad thinking he's winning. I can't stand it. It's like nails on a chalkboard. It's like getting a papercut. It's like watching a Patrick Swayze movie. So annoying!
Here's my plan:
I started to park in the lower left hand side of the driveway, right next to my Dad, blocking my mom's path into the garage. She has had to park in the street. My thought process is that she is going to get so pissed in a couple days, and yell at me for my parking. To which, I will calmly explain that the reason I'm parking there is because Dad is taking my spot, and that I can't possibly park up more in the driveway because then she'll be blocking me in and will have to move her car when I need to leave. So, she will start complaining to Dad. He will cave, and ipso facto I will win. Dad will park in the garage, I'll get my spot back, and the world will be back in order.
I'm like an evil genious. If you put me in a room with Lex Luther and Hannibal Lecter, I'd eat their kids.
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I'm awestruck. This has to be the most whiny, self-entitled, ungrateful, selfish and cowardly thing I have ever read in my entire life.
ReplyDeleteRather than actually taking responsibility and acting like an adult, you've decided to just inconvenience the people gracious enough to harbour such an ingrate, especially a supposed "adult"?
Is "Evil Genius" honestly how you see yourself? That is not even remotely how it comes across. At least the good Dr.Lecter had impeccable manners.
Hopefully you've done some growing up in the three years since this has been written and have learned how thankful you should be towards them. If I behaved like this, I'd be too embarrassed to show my face in public, let alone brag about it for anyone to see.
For shame.