Nelly, I Love You, and I Need You

I’m in a real dilemma here, a head-scratcher. I’m a hairy guy, as anyone who’s ever met me will tell you, except for on top of my head, the hair there seems to have been receding since I was 12.

Everyday to work I wear jeans and socks, but since it’s been 95 degrees here in Minnesota for the whole summer, I don’t want to wear jeans after work. However, if you wear shorts, you’re not supposed to wear socks and shoes, according to every girl I’ve ever met. The only acceptable thing to do is to put on some flip flops.

Here is my dilemma, when I go to put on sandals I still have a “sock ring” around my ankles, which is pretty much embedded in my leg hair at this point. So if I put on sandals, it still looks like I’m wearing socks anyway. A hair sock, if you will.

So what am I supposed to do? Suffer in jeans with a sweaty sack all night? Go out to the bar in my hair socks?

This is how Obama must feel when he tries to solve the conflict in the Middle East.