My conversation with Shaska

My roommate Shaska is a server who works two jobs. Yesterday she had to work both jobs, from open to close. The following is a conversation with Shaska this morning.

Shaska: I'm so tired today! I worked 13 hours yesterday. And I work again tonight.
Dave: that sucks. How much did you walk with yesterday?
Shaska: I made like $600 before tip-outs
Dave: fuck you.

The worst thing about restraint...

For the past two years or so, I've been practicing some restraint...a sort of forced celibacy if you will. It's not that I haven't wanted to have sex, in fact I'm out of control horny most of the time. No, the simple fact is that I haven't found anyone worth giving a part of myself to. Not that it hasn't been offered, I mean, on a saturday night I'm turning down the nani left and right (can you feel the sarcasm?)

There is one thing I miss so much though, and this goes hand in hand with the horniness. The thing I miss most is something I call "OK hips"... Bear with me... "OK hips" are when you are with a girl, and she is almost naked. The last little piece left is her underwear. This is the last guardpost between you and the promise land...so you go to take her underwear off (hopefully thongs, or some other kind that I don't even know about yet...no boy shorts or Hanes Her Way, I mean, C'mon ladies...) and as you go to remove them, she lifts her hips to let you know it's okay to slide them off...

I know that's pretty dirty, maybe a little too much for a public forum...but think about it guys, is there another moment in life where so much anticipation and excitement is built up? I thought not...

I wonder if Webster's Dictionary would be interested in "OK Hips" and my definition?

Have You Ever Seen Someone Fall in Love With Their Eyes?

I was passed along the below video. It's not a new video by any means, and it's been viewed over 36 million times. The kid singing in it is pretty damn good, especially considering this was filmed at a 6th grade talent competition. I hate the song choice, but he does a pretty good job making the song his own.

What I really love about this video are the girls in the background. At the beginning of the video you can see the stupidest looking girl I've ever seen in my life. She's in the upper right corner in a green shirt. You can't miss her, she's the one that looks like a mongoloid.

The other girl I can't stop watching is the blond with the black shirt, third from the left on the top row. As soon as this kid starts singing the girl is falling in love. By the middle of the video she has a permanent smile on her face, and by the very end of the video, she clearly wants to bang this kid right there on his piano (you get the same reaction from the first girl on the left in the back row, but she covers her face the whole time in orgasmic pleasure, so you can't really see her face, but she loves her some 12 yr old piano guy too).

And when the kid is done singing, he stands up and gives the biggest smile, partly because he did a really good job and probably won the competition, and partly because he just realized he's never going to have a problem getting laid. EVER. He may as well have lost his virginity right there during the song. And when you think about it, he did. Good for you kid, not cut your fucking hair.

The final cherry on top of this visual sundae, is when the school librarian comes in and tries to pump up the crowd with probably the stupidest thing you can say. Enjoy...